As the end of summer ushers us into the start of a new school year, many of us are feeling that familiar mix of excitement and nerves—especially those returning for their second year of secondary school. For many young people, this can be a year of trying to figure out where you fit in, who your friends are, and how to navigate the sometimes tricky waters of school life.

For some, second year is when things start to click socially. But for others, it can feel like an uphill climb. Maybe you’re not in the ‘cool’ crowd or the most popular groups. Instead, you’re kind, magnificent in your own unique way or just being yourself. And yet, this difference can sometimes feel isolating.

But here’s the truth: there’s so much strength in being different, in not following the crowd, and in staying true to who you are. The key is finding your community, the people who celebrate you for your kindness and individuality.

A Message to First Years

Starting secondary school as a first year can feel like stepping into a whole new world. The hallways are bigger, the people are older, and suddenly it feels like being in the popular set is what everyone’s aiming for. But here’s the thing: being cool isn’t about fitting into some pre-defined box or mimicking what others are doing. The coolest thing you can do is be yourself. Now that is gonna sound a bit naff but it’s true.

When you’re starting out, there’s a lot of pressure to figure out who you are and where you fit in. But the best way to navigate this is to be you. Don’t worry about whether you’re wearing the latest trend or if you have the same hobbies as the most popular people in school. What truly makes you cool is your uniqueness—your kindness, your creativity, your ability to connect with others in ways that are genuine.

In the long run, people remember you not because of the clothes you wore or the number of likes on your posts, but because of how you treated them. That’s where kindness comes in. Being kind, even in the smallest ways, makes you stand out. It’s the kind of cool that lasts. Any investment in bullying, hate language or general meanness is always a mark of someone who is sad for me. Happy people don’t tent to bully people.

Truthfully though, aiming for the top spot of popular is exhausting and brings so much pressure to those young people too. It is a pointless endeavour that often leads to burnout or fallout at some point. Those young people are also having a hard time. Might not seem it but they really are.

Kindness is one of the most underrated qualities in secondary school. It may not always make you the center of attention, but it’s the foundation of real friendships and meaningful relationships. While others may prioritise being popular, staying kind and true to yourself will help you form connections with people who genuinely care about you—and that’s a connection that lasts.

As you start your second year of secondary school, or your first year, remember this: everyone deserves a place where they feel accepted and valued. When you find the people who understand and appreciate you for who you are, you’ve found your community. And that’s far more valuable than fitting in for the sake of fitting in.

If you’re struggling to find that community, don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. Join a club, take up a sport or something else that interests you, or simply reach out to someone who seems kind or shares your interests. Sometimes, it’s in the unexpected places that we find the connections that matter most.

The Importance of Community

When I think back to this summer, I’m reminded of the incredible power of community. I took my father to an age-friendly lunch group in his hometown of Bawnboy, Cavan, and witnessed something truly wonderful. It wasn’t just about the hearty lunch, the hilarious rounds of bingo, or even the music and dancing—it was about connection. There were people reaching across tables to shake hands, hugging, and sharing moments of laughter and understanding.

What struck me most was the warmth and kindness of people coming together. They weren’t worried about fitting in. They were simply present for one another, offering support, kindness, and joy in sometimes quite challenging times for some people who were in poor health.

Creating and Making Art Around Community and History

In many ways, community is like a tapestry, with each of us contributing a thread that, when woven together, creates something beautiful and strong. This idea has inspired me to think about making art that reflects our deep connections to one another and to our shared history. Every act of kindness, every moment of connection adds a thread to that tapestry.

Right, back to work. Two projects, actually three are going to occupy my time at home and at home working. One is Creative Communities with the Active Age group in Mohill and another is Grief’s Broken Brow with three different settings. Watch this space for more musings…

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